Random Scribblings from my Diary, 1976.

Below are actual excerpts from my diary over the summer holidays of 1976. I was fourteen years old.

January 1st. Determination to be Bubbly.

I made a lot of New Year Resolutions about being bubbly, confident, sympathetic and hard-working this year. I’m reasonably confident, sympathetic & even hard-working when I want to be, but bubbly – well… I was going to be absolutely bubbly on the first day of the New Year but on the first day of the New Year I got my damn period, so I wasn’t at all bubbly then. Yesterday I got bubbly around 6.00pm, and I’ve been moderately bubbly today, but as soon as I stop writing I will be absolutely extra bubbly.

I’ve got to be permanently bubbly by the time school starts, so I’ve got a bit over a month.

January 3rd. Plans for the Future.

Guess whose birthday it was yesterday? January 2nd. Shirley spunky Strachan of Skyhooks. Shirley – I was rapt in him at one stage. His curly hair, his saucy movements – they really got me going. Then I heard him say on 3AW that he was once engaged. I went all cold. I felt my blood stopped flowing. Then, to top my horror, he said “I still love the girl very much.” And from what I could gather, he would eventually marry her. Well, my love for him died there and then. Just kaput. I announced this to my school friends and said I was rapt in Red, also of Skyhooks. But my heart wasn’t in it anymore, so I soon became rapt in David Bowie.

I’m still rapt in David Bowie. But he lives in America, he’s married, and has a kid called Zowie. Still David doesn’t stick to his wife – he has a long list of girlfriends. I am going to get famous and have an affair with him too.

Wouldn’t that be grouse.

January 15th. Relatives.

Last night we went to see Nanny and Uncle Jack. Nanny and Mum were talking about one of Mum’s aunts who was always sick – she had incredibly brittle bones. Mum’s brother danced with her and broke 2 of her ribs!  I kid you not.

And every time she came over to their place she broke a rib.

And she was always talking about her morbid operations.

“I had my tonsils out – operated on the kitchen table. The doctor said they were like a bunch of grapes!!”

And one night, Mum was at another Aunt’s place, and this other Aunt’s boyfriend came over and started attacking this Aunt. Mum raced over to the brittle Aunt’s place to get her husband. The husband wasn’t home, so Mum says to the brittle one, “Aunty Fran’s being bashed!” So Aunt Rhonda I think her name was goes, “Yes I’ll come, but first come and see the new dining suite.”

That was the type of woman she was.

And another woman murdered her husband with Ratsak, and Nanny had to be a witness.

It was all rather morbidly exciting seeing Nanny and Uncle Jack again.

January 17th. Learning to Dive.

I can dive properly too now. Karen taught me. I can tell the difference between a bad & a good dive. A good dive makes your pants fall down and your bra top go all funny.

January 24th. Early Poetry.

(Apparently, I thought I would become a great actress. This poem contains my favourite rhyme: “New York” and “feasting on pork.” Who hasn’t dreamed of feasting on pork?)

Greta Garbo, Liza Minnelli
Neither of them are a patch on me.
Betty Grable couldn’t act,
Marilyn Monroe hadn’t a fact.
All the producers are fighting for me.
They want to star me with Warren Beatty.
I say “No! Not with Warren Beatty.
If I must have a co-star, I’ll have David Bowie.”
Queen of the jet-set I am in New York.
Drinking champagne and feasting on pork.
All parties are flops without me around
But one summer night I couldn’t be found.
“She said that she’d come,” said Bianca to Cher.
“But when it comes to parties, you just can’t trust her!”
And where was I that hot summer night?
I was at home learning my part just right
Forget about parties, I’m so dedicated
Loved by the audience, by other actresses hated.